Technology impaired Qwark

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Dear Elvis,

Listen, baby, I know you love me, and I love you too. And I’m happy that with the coming winter months you want to snuggle up to me for warmth at bedtime.

That being said, I’m almost 100% certain that my neck is not the warmest part of my body.


Cat vs. Kitten MUST END

Dear Lilly,

    I realize that we just got you about three weeks ago. Therefore, you've been the baby all this time. We've doted on you and played with you and just generally worshipped you. However, that does not mean that you can kill the new kitten. She's only six weeks old. You are a LOT bigger than she is. She's alone and scared and needs a friend, not a bully that wants her dead. Please STOP trying to murder her...and us, too, when we try to comfort you afterward. If this continues, Grandma is going to make me get rid of you. Please cut it out.


P.S. Anyone have any advice for this? I just don't understand it.

Mr Darcy and Blackadder

Dear Mr Darcy and Blackadder,

I know you are only kittens but please can you listen to me when i tell you off. Darcy, i love you to bits but i really really really don't appreciate slugs in my bedroom or you bringing in dead rats.
Blackadder, i love you lots as well but i do not appreciate you "helping" me with my homework when you have muddy paws, im sure my english teacher is not going to find it funny when they see the pawprints on my book.

I love you both very much but please try to behave and not to scratch me so much (im talking about you Blackadder).

Love Ella xx
  • Current Music
    bbc radio 2

Dearest Movado

I worry about you.

I know I've only had you for a week and that the house can be...a little overstimulating but I'm not sure if you should be steadfastly hiding beneath the bed. Don't you want to come out and explore? We've got the stairs blocked off so that you have the entire second floor to yourself; that little white dog can't get to you, you know. (By the way: She wants so desperately to be your friend, you know. She doesn't mean any harm.) Wouldn't you prefer to roam just a little? The door back to our room is always open, of course, if you feel the need to retreat but you have yet to set a paw outside of the bedroom.

I know you're a little miffed that I carried you out in an effort to get you started, but I really did mean well. I just thought if you could see what you are missing you'd be more inclined to become a bit more adventurous. And anyways, it was just you, me, and my father out there; you know neither of us means you any harm, right?

You must miss your old home. With your brother and sister. I know that I would. But, we want to be your new family. We want to love you and take care of you. We want you to like us.

I hope you become used to your new home soon, Movado. I can tell that you're a friendly cat, even if you're a bit shy.

Courtney, your new friend

Gatito, a Parody for You

Dear Gatito, this parody of La Bamba is for you:

no puedes salir porque estás castigado.
Y estás castigado
porque tú, tú saliste sin permiso.
Entonces castigado,
Gatito y no puedes ir, ir afuera.

¡Y estás castigado!
Y estás castigado, mi Gatito.
No puedes ir, ir afuera.
Castigado, Ga-Ga-tito, castigado


¡Gatito castigado!
Gatito castigado
no puedes salir porque saliste sin permiso.
Tú estás castigado
por tu vida totalmente y entera.

[Guitar Solo]

¡Gatito castigado!
Gatito castigado,
no puedes salir porque saliste sin permiso.
Porque saliste sin permiso
es porque tú estás castigado.
Entonces castigado,
mi Gatito no puedes ir, ir afuera.

Castigado, Ga-Ga-tito, castigado...
Stock - Emote!Clouds

2 letters

Dearest Søren,

Thank you for being so cute and not annoying this morning. When I woke up and opened an eye, seeing you on the other pillow was cute. Closing my eyes because "bleagh, too early" and feeling your soft paw on my cheek begging for a cuddle was cute. Feeling you move to plop next to me on my pillow without smothering me by sitting on my face like you sometimes do was cute. Going back to sleep with you purring next to me was cute.

You'll be one year-old next week and you've been with me for about 10 months. It's not much, seeing as I've waited for you for about 20 years, but accepting to take you in was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Never change, you annoying and way-too-cute little brat.
I love you.


Dearest Lena,

What had started as a good morning turned even better when you did your "carpet dance" : rolling on the carpet, cooing and meowing because honestly, how can I think of getting up without petting you first, darling ?
But when you nuzzled Søren right after that, I just about died. You've joined us 6 months ago, now, and it's about time the two of you started getting comfortable with each other. You're the oldest, you're the Lady, darling. Show him how it works.
And don't listen to what other people say. To me, you're gorgeous and perfect. I will never regret taking you in at the shelter and I love to see you grow more and more confident everyday.

You're my Princess and I love you.


Collapse )


Dear Wiggington,

When I open my eyes in the morning, I am not playing a game with you. If I wanted to play a game, it wouldn't be "whack-an-eyeball".

Seriously, stop hitting me in the goddamn f**king eyes when I wake up.


The lady with the sore red eyeballs.


I hate you, you scary effing cat.